Don’t Support FCKH8

Don’t Support FCKH8

I was a little bit leery about FCKH8, especially when someone in the asexuality tag on Tumblr mentioned that FCKH8 said some pretty disparaging things about asexuals, so I never liked their page on Facebook. Apparently FCKH8’s FB page is under new administration, and because of pressure from the asexual and pansexual community, they have decided to change their tune with how they treat these two sexualities. However, it still does not excuse what was said, because this brought about some very damaging comments that just prove the oppression asexuals and pansexuals face–not to mention they made disparaging claims that asexuality and pansexuality were made up by Tumblr and simply a trend. So while they may be posting cutesy photos (stolen from Tumblr with their logo slapped on them) in support of asexuality and pansexuality, they have never once posted anything about what asexuality is and isn’t (and pansexuality) to get fans of their page to really understand why asexuals and pansexuals need exposure. It’s damage control. And they don’t have ANYTHING on their website where people can buy stuff in support of these two sexualities.

Here is a little bit about FCKH8: is a for-profit T-shirt company with an activist heart and a passionate social change mission: arming thousands of people with pro-LGBT equality, anti-racism and anti-sexism T-shirts that act as “mini-billboards” for change.

Let me start by saying they are a FOR-profit company, meaning that the money primarily goes to the owners and less to the unestablished causes they supposedly donate to. (They never mention the charities in their FAQs page.) If they were considered non-profit, then that money would primarily be going to charity organizations. For example, FCKH8 recently started an anti-racism campaign to support protests going on in Ferguson. Their shirts and hoodies range from $2.00 to $15.00–and yet they are only donating $5.00. They talk about five anti-racism causes, but they don’t even specify what those causes are. So if someone buys a wristband, which is around $2.00, apparently no monies will be donated. They claimed to have raised $6,000 dollars from this cause so far, but because only $5.00 from each purchase is going toward the cause, they are actually profiting of a terrible tragedy. Apparently FCKH8 designates certain charities to receive their proceeds, but these charities never consented to receiving funds from them in the first place. Therefore, they don’t receive permission from charities to donate money, and as a result, these charities don’t accept these monies. Ironically, their profit margins for these shirts depend on racism still being upheld in America today–and other injustices that occur against the causes they supposedly support.

Charities are non-profit organizations. FCKH8 isn’t. There are businesses out there that depend on god-awful things to stay around so they can continue to remain in business. Get rid of all the hate, and FCKH8 goes out of business–unless they decide to change their practices. Am I being unfair? Not really. The It Gets Better Project is a FAR better alternative to spending your monies on. They are a non-profit corporation, so their monies do not go to shareholders like the monies of FCKH8’s company does. Colorlines is also a better alternative for combating racism.

Sure they’re making t-shirts and everything people can wear to show their support, but you’re better off buying from Etsy, where there are no false claims that the monies are being donated to anything.

For claiming to be anti-racist, they are being racist. A family lost their child, and FCKH8’s response is to create products (and push them!) so they can earn more money when they are FOR-PROFIT and can probably donate enough themselves without having to get people to buy more of their stuff? You can help the Ferguson tragedy in this way, though.

Even worse, FCKH8 has an F rating with the Better Business Bureau, of which they are not even a part of. Any legitimate FOR-PROFIT business would be registered with the BBB, and the BBB is a HUGE deal. I can tell you this from experience because the company I work for is registered under the BBB and has an A+ rating with them. My department, and everyone else, works tirelessly to ensure the company keeps this rating.

One of the biggest complaints has to do with delivery issues, meaning that people who ordered something from their website never received what they bought. So if people aren’t receiving their products, then their products cannot act as billboards to support the causes they mention on their website.

They also have 1.5 stars out of 105 reviews on SiteJabber. That doesn’t look good for a company that claims to be fighting injustice.

They also have some pretty god-awful memes that can be sexist, transphobic, homophobic, and ect., ect., ect., by playing off stereotypes from each group they claim to support. You can search around the Tumblr page to see what I’m talking about. They also primarily support just gays and lesbians, while not addressing all the other people who need just as much help as the above-mentioned groups. You can’t consider yourself an Ally if you support only one facet of the community and not all the others. And look at the meme below it. They misgendered a transgirl. Mistakes happen, but if you make multiple mistakes, then that is no longer a mistake. They’re also incredibly disrespectful toward religion, forgetting that LGBTQ+ people can be religious themselves. I’ll admit sometimes I get angry at religion, but then I also have to remember that, again, there are those in the community who are religious.

I wouldn’t support FCKH8 at all. I would unlike their FB page. I would never consider buying from them. Ever.





Public Defamation

Public Defamation

perfectionSometimes as an author I do feel like I have to be perfect on social media, some sort of role model when dishing out advice or trying to offer something insightful to a conversation that begs one to be insightful. Then once I say one wrong thing that I didn’t clearly think through, I’m lambasted for saying something so stupid and idiotic, when I wasn’t trying to be neither of those things. I often try not to be controversial at all, so oftentimes when I say something, I don’t think it’s controversial, until I start being attacked for it.

There are those who try to help me see why what I said was wrong in order to help me better understand what I said so that way I can formulate my thoughts better. These are people who genuinely like what I have to say, people who want to see me do better. Then there are those who agree with me. Then there are those who fight with me, who offer nothing but nasty criticism in response to what I said. These are people who fight with other people in general, as though people aren’t allowed to make mistakes from time to time, as though they aren’t allowed to be ignorant from time to time. These people don’t want to be gentle about others’ ignorance. They want to be rude. EVERYONE IS IGNORANT! Why should we be so critical about the ignorance of another person, especially if this person is willing to engage in conversation and try to make themselves less ignorant about a particular topic?

I read a question on Tumblr from a bisexual person who misunderstood that you can be bisexual and still be attracted to those who consider themselves transgender. This person mistakenly thought he/she was now pansexual, when that wasn’t the case at all–or he/she can identify as pansexual, whatever they want to identify as. Of course, this person was then attacked for mistakenly believing otherwise, as though this person committed a serious crime for simply being ignorant when two people kindly explained that bisexuality can include attraction to those who do identify themselves as transgender. Nevermind that being bisexual is tough already in a society who still believes LGBTQA people to be absolutely abnormal. These people felt it necessary to attack, forgetting that there is a person on the other side of that keyboard, forgetting that person may currently be struggling with something.

Why is this necessary, this cutting attitude to someone who is ignorant about something?

When we attack people for their ignorance, we’re being ignorant ourselves, especially if we never recognize our ignorance and try to make peace with the person we attacked.

I had to temporarily shut down my Ask Box on Tumblr because of so many vicious messages I was receiving based on one sentence alone: hatred is never okay. I wasn’t thinking through that hatred is not so black and white, that there are gray areas, that hatred is a feeling like any other and should be allowed to be felt. After all, our anger helps us to take action in a hopefully positive way.

I was being called insensitive, stupid, idiotic, ect., and then I was attacked for closing down my inbox, which was the smart thing to do so that way I wouldn’t be continuously blasted with hateful words at a very sensitive period in my life right now.

I responded to those condescending words with consideration, doing my best to not be patronizing myself. After all, the best way to respond to someone being deliberately patronizing is to try not to be the same way in return.

I wasn’t closing it because I was afraid to face my ignorance. I had already faced it. It would have been foolish of me to keep my Ask Box open, to tirelessly answer all those messages because I make it a point to not leave one thing unanswered; thus, I deleted every single one of them–after having read them all, of course. I realized the original purpose of my blog had been taken off track. I knew I needed to bring it back on its rails by closing down my inbox and only answering questions pertinent to my blog.

Wanting others to be perfect is just as psychologically damaging as the ignorant things people sometimes say, people who aren’t trying to be hurtful.

We don’t know what’s going on in another person’s life. We don’t know what that other person has experienced for that person to come to such a conclusion. Therefore, what gives anyone the right to be so condescending to someone who is clearly trying not to be nasty to begin with?

No one has that right.