Public Defamation

Sometimes as an author I do feel like I have to be perfect on social media, some sort of role model when dishing out advice or trying to offer something insightful to a conversation that begs one to be insightful. Then once I say one wrong thing that I didn’t clearly think through, I’m lambasted for saying something so stupid and idiotic, when I wasn’t trying to be neither of those things. I often try not to be controversial at all, so oftentimes when I say something, I don’t think it’s controversial, until I start being attacked for it.

There are those who try to help me see why what I said was wrong in order to help me better understand what I said so that way I can formulate my thoughts better. These are people who genuinely like what I have to say, people who want to see me do better. Then there are those who agree with me. Then there are those who fight with me, who offer nothing but nasty criticism in response to what I said. These are people who fight with other people in general, as though people aren’t allowed to make mistakes from time to time, as though they aren’t allowed to be ignorant from time to time. These people don’t want to be gentle about others’ ignorance. They want to be rude. EVERYONE IS IGNORANT! Why should we be so critical about the ignorance of another person, especially if this person is willing to engage in conversation and try to make themselves less ignorant about a particular topic?

I read a question on Tumblr from a bisexual person who misunderstood that you can be bisexual and still be attracted to those who consider themselves transgender. This person mistakenly thought he/she was now pansexual, when that wasn’t the case at all–or he/she can identify as pansexual, whatever they want to identify as. Of course, this person was then attacked for mistakenly believing otherwise, as though this person committed a serious crime for simply being ignorant when two people kindly explained that bisexuality can include attraction to those who do identify themselves as transgender. Nevermind that being bisexual is tough already in a society who still believes LGBTQA people to be absolutely abnormal. These people felt it necessary to attack, forgetting that there is a person on the other side of that keyboard, forgetting that person may currently be struggling with something.

Why is this necessary, this cutting attitude to someone who is ignorant about something?

When we attack people for their ignorance, we’re being ignorant ourselves, especially if we never recognize our ignorance and try to make peace with the person we attacked.

I had to temporarily shut down my Ask Box on Tumblr because of so many vicious messages I was receiving based on one sentence alone: hatred is never okay. I wasn’t thinking through that hatred is not so black and white, that there are gray areas, that hatred is a feeling like any other and should be allowed to be felt. After all, our anger helps us to take action in a hopefully positive way.

I was being called insensitive, stupid, idiotic, ect., and then I was attacked for closing down my inbox, which was the smart thing to do so that way I wouldn’t be continuously blasted with hateful words at a very sensitive period in my life right now.

I responded to those condescending words with consideration, doing my best to not be patronizing myself. After all, the best way to respond to someone being deliberately patronizing is to try not to be the same way in return.

I wasn’t closing it because I was afraid to face my ignorance. I had already faced it. It would have been foolish of me to keep my Ask Box open, to tirelessly answer all those messages because I make it a point to not leave one thing unanswered; thus, I deleted every single one of them–after having read them all, of course. I realized the original purpose of my blog had been taken off track. I knew I needed to bring it back on its rails by closing down my inbox and only answering questions pertinent to my blog.

Wanting others to be perfect is just as psychologically damaging as the ignorant things people sometimes say, people who aren’t trying to be hurtful.

We don’t know what’s going on in another person’s life. We don’t know what that other person has experienced for that person to come to such a conclusion. Therefore, what gives anyone the right to be so condescending to someone who is clearly trying not to be nasty to begin with?

No one has that right.

 

Books With GSM (Gender and Sexual Minorities) Characters

As a little bit of a tease, I do have some great news to share, but I can’t share it right now until a certain condition is met–and another piece of awesome news, but the details are still being worked out. On the other hand, I can give you a hint about the latest book I’m working on: this book contains an asexual male. This book is actually a re-vamped version of a book I started last year, so it’s a dramatic change, but one I’m sticking with because I finally want to delve into writing contemporary YA issues-based books. The Stars Trilogy will probably be my last and only trilogy/series.

With that in mind, I have been reading a lot of books along the GSM spectrum, and while I haven’t been able to find any books with asexual characters you don’t have to analyze to know they are asexual, I’ve still found a few golden reads, and I’d like to share them with you. With the increasing attention the GSM community is getting, I think it is vital that people start to read books with GSM characters in order to understand what it’s like living with sexual and gender identities that are neither cis nor hetero.

Now keep in mind that these are all YA novels, because they are primarily what I read, but they still give you a fantastic glimpse of what it’s like for people in the GSM community.

• Luna by Julie Anne Peters. This book involves the story of a transgender teen wanting to transition from male to female. She calls herself Luna (real name Liam). She only feels safe transforming into Luna in the safety of her basement bedroom. This is the first book I read with a transgender teen, and I’m going to try to find others to read as well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• Freakboy by Kristin Elizabeth Clark. Brendan Chase feels like he’s in the wrong body–but then sometimes he doesn’t. He’s actually gender fluid, and this was the first time I learned about gender fluidity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• Safe by C. Kennedy. All Caleb wants to do is protect his boyfriend Nico from his father. This book was actually quite a shock to me, because some scenes were a little more detailed than what YA generally allows. But its publisher, Harmony Ink Press, is about pushing the boundaries of YA literature, do I figured I would throw this one in the list for breaking boundaries.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• Heavyweight by MB Mulhall. Ian’s crush on Julian Yang threatens to reveal that he’s a gay youth living in a backwater southern town. This book is unique because it isn’t just about a gay youth, but a gay youth who also struggles with an eating disorder. It’s uncommon to find books about males struggling with eating disorders.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• Scars by Cheryl Rainfield. Kendra is self-harming to suppress some horrible memories of childhood sexual abuse. I chose this book because it doesn’t even revolve around Kendra’s sexuality at all. Yet, near the end, she has a girlfriend, and she never once thinks that it’s unusual. So this book treats homosexuality like heterosexuality, and that’s what I liked about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Currently I’m reading Tales from Foster High by John Goode, and it seems like the series is going to revolve around several gay youth during their high school years. I might post a review on this when I’m done with it.

I definitely recommend checking out these books. Also check out Harmony Ink Press for more books, because they are about publishing books with teens in the GSM community.