A Change of Plans and When Stars Die Cover Reveal

A couple of nights ago I had an interesting dream. While I can’t recall the details, I can recall the main point of that dream, and was it focused on the sequel to When Stars Die. However, it was no longer a sequel, but an entirely different book able to mostly stand on its own but still within the Stars universe. It turned from a trilogy into a chronicle(s). That was enough to change my mind about leaving WSD as a standalone, and it was enough to spur me to return to this world I had been creating since I was a fourteen-year-old in middle school.

I’ve decided that I’m going to re-write When Stars Die’s sequel entirely. It will still be called The Stars Are Infinite, but now it will no longer be bound to follow a continuity in which I am obligated to complete a series and come up with a tidy ending because now there will be no tidy ending. The same characters will still exist, but now their motivations are going to change entirely.

I lost my desire to complete the trilogy not only because of burnout but because of how predictable the ending was for me. I just wasn’t excited about writing it because there was no mystery to how things would wrap up. It was a save-the-world series, and I was bored to death by it. Now I’m thinking to myself, ‘What if the world can’t be saved? What if instead each novel focuses on its own thing, and the overarching theme is about people trying to survive in the world they have before them, trying to make do with what they’ve been given?’ Maybe they’ll try to save it, but ultimately, I don’t want them to. The whole idea of the Stars universe is that there is this oppressive god controlling everything, and while killing a god may work just fine in a Japanese RPG, I’m not interested in killing a god anymore. I’m interested in writing about characters who try but fail, about finding hope in seemingly hopeless situations. I want to create a series about a fallen world that doesn’t seem worth saving at times, but where life is still very much worth living.

In any case, that excitement that I thought I no longer had has returned in full force, and I have already started outlining this revamped version of TSAI. So expect to see more books from this universe in the future.

In the meantime, here is the brand new cover for When Stars Die, designed by Lesia T from Fiverr:

An Update and News for WHEN STARS DIE

This will be the old cover.

WHEN STARS DIE has been in complete limbo ever since my last publisher folded. For all of these years, I had no idea what I was going to do with it. I kept thinking about finding another small press for it. However, I struggled with this because I felt obligated to finish the final book in the trilogy.

In truth, I have not felt at all inspired to finish the trilogy. I wrote an entire outline, wrote the draft, but the passion died after the second book because I was so burnt out on the trilogy with the amount of revisions that were required for WSD’s sequel. I honestly thought that if I allowed myself to take a break during PT school that the inspiration, the desire would eventually come, but it never did. I even thought for a fearful moment I had lost my interest in writing. But I haven’t, as I’ve outlined a YA contemporary and have started writing it. And when I typically start a novel, there’s a 99% chance I’m going to finish the draft.

I just lost my passion for the trilogy and for writing future series in general. It is a lot of work, and I would rather stick with standalones from here on out.

So what am I ultimately going to do with WHEN STARS DIE?

I’m going to self-publish it, and it is going to be a standalone. I want complete control of this, and I don’t want a publisher to make me feel obligated to finish it out. The novel has always been able to function as one. I know this may disappoint some people who were hoping for a complete trilogy, but I cannot force myself to finish this trilogy out. If I do, the third book will be absolutely terrible, and I’d rather not have that.

Perhaps if there is enough interest I will put its sequel on Wattpad.

Now what is the plan from here?

WSD is going to have a Halloween release date! Some time in April, I will do a cover reveal. I already have its brand-new cover, and I’m excited to show that.

Social Saturday: Create Your Own Future

I have been incredibly silent on the social media front as far as my author platform is concerned. I am well aware of this. I also haven’t been that diligent toward the marketing and sales of When Stars Die. Even so, I am working on The Stars Are Infinite so that it can be released some time this year.

But crickets have been chirping on my blog for a reason.

I’ve been prioritizing my career in fitness over anything else right now. I’ve been busy building my personal training website (still super busy with this), I’ve obviously been busy with my full-time job, selling memberships and shadowing a personal trainer; I’ve been cramming my head with research to aid in my career; I’ve been hitting the weights hard to grow muscle; and I’ve just overall been busy with research to launch my business successfully when the summer comes. I’ll also be moving in with my fiance soon, and that’ll be time consuming as well.

Now that I have a planner, I can commit myself to a regular blogging schedule, but it will only be once a week, and I will dub it ‘Social Saturday.’ It’s going to basically be a recap of my entire week, a bigger, better glimpse into my life that you haven’t yet seen, where I will get real, raw, and honest. Now let’s get on to what I want to talk about today.

I somewhat regret my English degree. The somewhat part comes into play when you consider that my English degree has helped me become a better writer and self-editor. I’ve also gained many experiences from it that I otherwise would not have gained without having majored in it, like launching my own literary magazine and being a tutor for my university’s writing center. I would not give up these experiences.

I mostly regret my major because I’m in the final stretches of earning my English degree, and I know that unless I win the lottery or scholarships drop in my lap, switching my major to exercise science or something similar is no longer an option. I’m not willing to put myself in debt for an education I want to use to simply supplement my certification. At the same time, I desperately want to major in exercise science, but there is no way I’m allowing myself to be steeped in debt of up to 30,000 dollars (and I wish this were an exaggeration). The only reason I would want a BS is so that I can go on to earn an MS and conduct my own research into exercise science and write books on my discoveries. Having an MS would legitimize my research. Alas, this will not come into fruition any time soon.

I’m not brimming with regrets, though. If anything, I am currently buzzing with pride. After getting my tax return today, I was finally able to purchase liability insurance, which is the first step into launching my personal training business in the summer. All I now have to do is pay to launch my website. I am filled with so much pride because I have paid for everything myself to make becoming a personal trainer possible. This is what I have spent:

• $799.00 for my ACE certification
• $299.00 for my group fitness instructor certification (this one was on sale)
• $399.00 for my functional training certification
• About $200.00 dollars in supplementary books
• About $60.00 for a heart monitor and calipers
• About $17.00 for business cards
• About $286.00 for liability insurance

Thus far, I have spent a little over 2,000 dollars to make all of this possible for me. I don’t list these prices to show off how privileged I am to be able to pay all of this off without accruing any debt. I know I am privileged. If I didn’t currently live with my parents, I’d probably be in credit card debt.

I post this to show that even though I was able to pay all of it off, I still took financial risks. I paid for some of this stuff with my credit card but was able to later quickly pay it off. I was at a point in my last job where I was very financially unstable and still in some debt from my group fitness certification, but I had to make this possible, even if that meant making just the minimum payments for my credit card.

I have decided that I want to launch my own business because currently I am salaried and also receive commission from the sales of memberships. It’s decent money. I’ve also been interning for two months and have received a pretty good insight into the life of a personal trainer. While I would still love to train at a gym, I am not willing to give up my salary and start entirely from scratch. When I move in with my fiance, I’ll have rent to pay. I still have to pay off my car. The point is that I have things to pay for, things I wouldn’t be able to pay for if I transitioned over to training full-time. My pay would be entirely contingent on training hours; building a base of clients takes time. The specific trainer I’m shadowing actually has to train on his own time in order to make ends meet. Training at a gym isn’t enough for him.

I am incredibly lucky in that my fiance is currently the primary bread winner and is able to support me in my endeavors. So I will remain a fitness consultant while also training on the side when I launch my business this summer–and hopefully surpass my fiance’s income.

I have created my own future, with my own money, and I am not going to sit here and deny that I was without help. While all the money came from me, I am economically advantaged in that I didn’t have to pay for much else while investing in my education as a personal trainer. Of course, I am also very good with money and was able to make all payments on time.

What I want you to know is that if you envision a particular future for yourself and don’t think you can achieve it, you need to find ways to achieve it, no matter what sort of risks you have to take. Don’t bankrupt yourself. Simply sacrifice what you can in order to make this future possible for yourself. Budget your money. Figure out what you need and don’t need. Just go for it.

I was so tired of not being certain of what I wanted to do with my degree in English. I was so tired of my last job. I was so tired of feeling like the only thing I had going for me was writing novels. And I was so tired of letting fear hold me back.

No more. I made this future possible for myself through hard work. I found something to be passionate about other than writing novels. I found something I can make good money from while also changing people’s lives in a big way.

I found myself by finding who I want to be. And even if I want to be someone different later, at least I know I can do it through my own hard work.

***

Purchase When Stars Die at Amazon, Lulu, Kobo, and Barnes&Noble.

 

Looking Back on 2015 from 2016

As I look back on 2015 and look down the sparkling maw that is 2016, I’m filled with much excitement for this year. Let’s look back on 2015 to see some of what I’ve accomplished:

1. Landing a contract for When Stars Die with Gnome on Pig Productions.
2. Passing my exam to be certified as a personal trainer.
3. Earning my specialty certification in functional fitness.
4. Starting the advanced level in ballet.
5. Finally nailing those blasted foutte turns.
6. Writing, completing, and publishing A Treacherous Flame. (Seriously, this is huge for me because I hadn’t written anything in a while.)
7. Recovering from my eating disorder in April.
8. Being free from depression for an entire year. (I’ll write a post later this week on what this feels like for me.)

Now here is what I hope to accomplish in 2016:

1. Earning my group fitness certification.
2. Finding a job as both a personal trainer and group fitness instructor.
3. Getting The Stars Are Infinite published.
4. Increasing sales for When Stars Die.
5. Graduating with my BA.
6. Moving in with my fiance and getting married.
7. Studying for a specialty certification in nutrition.
8. Having a full list of clients within three months, preferably before I earn my BA.
9. Getting back en pointe since my shoes are dead and I screwed up my foot when I fell on it in pointe class.
10. Building more muscle through ballet and crosstraining.
11. Helping clients succeed with their fitness goals.
12. Writing a novella (or novel, whatever it turns out to be) for Forevermore Publishing.
13. Writing the third book in The Stars Trilogy.

These are all of my goals for the year of 2016. It’s a lengthy list, but I know I can succeed.

So what do you plan to accomplish in 2016?

***

Purchase When Stars Die at Amazon, Lulu, Kobo, and Barnes&Noble.

Late Manic Monday: Life Goals and A Treacherous Flame

A Treacherous Flame is now free on Amazon for five days! It is a precursor to When Stars Die. Once you get the story, you can also freely lend it to whomever you wish. I will eventually make it perma free. I just have to format it for Smashwords and have Amazon do a price match.

Here’s what it’s about:

Benjamin Fairchild, interrogator at Usiburn Tower, is in charge of extracting confessions from witches–and then killing them. His methods are brutal. From crushing thumbs to cutting out tongues, Benjamin is not afraid to use the most extreme methods to get what he wants.

On a crusade to eliminate every last witch he can, Benjamin is currently tasked with a young girl named Emily. She proves to be a most difficult case. Trying to convince Benjamin of her innocence is impossible when he is certain that witches are the biggest embodiment of sin. However, Emily will force Benjamin to discover a secret about himself that threatens to undo everything he has been taught.

***

So besides this, what else is going on in this hectic life of mine?

Well, I finally got certified in CPR/AED/First Aid, which means I’ve scheduled my personal trainer exam for next Friday at 1 PM. YIKES! Here I am wondering what more I need to study besides the math, which is easy, but I just need to memorize the formulas. I’m both nervous and excited because I’m finally certain of what I want to do as a career, and even though I hear it’s really tough, I hope to find both happiness and contentment in this career. To be honest, I’d love to be as big as Kayla Itsines. But that’s a long-term goal. Right now, I’m just going to focus on short-term goals: passing the exam, getting a specialty certification, getting my BA in English, then finding a job as a trainer.

I’m also developing my fitness platform, primarily through blogging and Instagram. I started a Twitter account, but I feel like I need to be more popular to really have Twitter work for me. It’s easier to get followers on Instagram because pretty pics really attract people, so I’ll depend on my blog and Instagram for now. It’s kind of crazy trying to juggle both a fitness and author platform, which is why a Manic Monday post is late in the first place.

What about my goals as an author?

Well, with the re-release of When Stars Die being next Saturday, I plan to submit my second book some time in December after I go over it once more. And I can’t say I’ll be able to start the third book soon. Maybe I can, but there’s no promise. Right now I have to focus on getting certified and then getting my BA, which will hopefully be next March if I can get into two classes instead of one like I’ve been forced to do lately.

Like striving to be like Kayla Itsines, my long-term goals are to eventually be a bestseller, or even just make enough that it’d be a GREAT supplementary income. Even if I made loads of money from writing, I wouldn’t let go of my job as a trainer.

From here on out, it’s all about HARD work.

What Wednesday: Indies and the Vitriol Against Amazon

Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of vitriol against Amazon from indie authors on my feed. I haven’t clicked any of the articles they’ve linked to because I’ve mostly been fixated on their comments: ‘I won’t be surprised if Amazon fails.’ ‘All they want is money.’ ‘Amazon will collapse.’ ‘Amazon never does anything good.’ So on and so forth…

I’m astonished by these comments because our careers as indie authors wouldn’t exist without Amazon and its Kindle. Amazon is the reason why self-publishing is becoming an increasingly acceptable way of getting one’s book out there. Amazon is the reason why so many careers have launched. Amazon is the reason why there are successful authors out there that agents and big publishers wouldn’t give a chance. Amazon is the reason why many indie authors were able to find publishers, albeit much smaller ones. And Amazon lets our publishers and us put books on their website for free.

We receive 70% of the profits. We can list books for free to get our names out there. Amazon has opened up so many opportunities out there for writers whose voices would otherwise not be heard. I have one author friend who is successful because of Amazon. She found a literary agent, but that literary agent could not find a publisher for her, so she eventually had to drop her agent and fly solo. And she has Amazon to thank for this. I have another who is still with his literary agent but opted to self-publish the book the agent had since so many publishers kept rejecting it. He has Amazon to thank for this. I have Amazon to thank for making it possible for my current publisher to exist.

As indie authors, we’re really shooting ourselves if we wish for the downfall of Amazon. The downfall of Amazon can mean the downfall of our careers; I don’t foresee another online retailer being able to overtake Amazon’s ability to sell books, unless this retailer is able to create an e-reader far better than the Kindle–which is difficult considering the Nook couldn’t beat the Kindle.

I am grateful for the existence of Amazon. Yeah, book sales aren’t any easier, but at least When Stars Die will have a chance on the market, a chance to find new readers. I don’t wish for Amazon’s downfall. This is like wishing for the downfall of my own career. For now, most readers flock toward Amazon when purchasing books online, so Barnes and Noble or Smashwords or Lulu or whatever aren’t going to help book sales for many indie authors if something happens to Amazon.

***

You can now pre-order When Stars Die! You can purchase it here.

When Stars Die Available for Pre-Order!

When Stars Die is now up for pre-order! Currently it can only be pre-ordered through my publisher’s website, and it’s in paperback and hardback for now. Check it out here. It is a young adult dark fantasy. Edits weren’t drastic at all. It was simply getting rid of typos and fixing a few errors. The cover has also been slightly altered.

The City of Malva is rife with puritanical hatred for witches.  It is said they embody the Seven Deadly sins of mankind.  

Amelia’s only chance of saving her brother Nathaniel, a born witch, is to become a professed nun at Cathedral Reims.  Enduring a series of trials including starvation, isolation, physical abuse and blood-sucking leaches, she will sacrifice all that she is to save him.  

Complicating all of this is the fact that Amelia can see what is lurking in the shadows.  Shadowmen,  seeking witches like Nathaniel to join their ranks.  This group of Shadowmen begin planning.  The results could be devastating.

Oliver Cromwell, a dashing priest at Cathedral Reims, is the only one who can protect Amelia, her brother and save Malva.  Yet, he may prove to be more dangerous than the shadows themselves.

It’s official release is November 21st

Cover Reveal Sign-Up!

Next Wednesday I’m going to be revealing the full cover for my short story titled “A Treacherous Flame.” It’s going to take place in The Stars Trilogy universe and will be told from the viewpoint of a boy named Benjamin Fairchild. I don’t yet have a formal summary for it, but I can tell you he is an interrogator at a placed called Usiburn Tower. He is in charge of extracting confessions from witches–then killing them afterward. What’s unique about him is that he isn’t afraid to use torture to get what he wants. So, like When Stars Die, it’ll be a brutal, gritty dark fantasy. It’s going to be available for free on Amazon on October 31st!

By helping me out with this cover reveal, you will be eligible to win a first-edition copy of When Stars Die, back when it was with AEC Stellar Publishing, Inc. I tried to create an official sign-up form to help me out, but since my job has taken up too much of my time and I just feel so burnt out anymore, you can either leave your email in the comments or email me at thedancingwriter@gmail.com if you’d like to help out! You’ll then be entered into the drawing.

For those on Tumblr who happen to see this, you can just message me your email.

 ***News***

• When Stars Die now has a release date. It’ll be November 21st of this year! You can add it on Goodreads here.

My Book Re-release Fears

I don’t yet have a release date for When Stars Die, but that doesn’t keep me from being nervous about its re-release. I’m both excited and terrified, excited because my trilogy is getting another chance, and terrified because I’m worried about how successful it’s going to be the second time through. Here are some of my top fears:

1. Sales. How are the sales going to be for my book? Are they going to be worse? Better? I want this book to be so much more successful than its initial release.
2. Reception. Is the book going to be well-received? There are going to be new readers who will jump on board, and I’m nervous about whether or not it’s still going to receive good reviews and ratings. I know it’s such a shallow thing to concern myself with, but how the first book does will determine the course of the rest of my trilogy.
3. Platform. Is my platform better built to help engage new readers? I know it could be better. I know I should be regularly blogging at least three times a week on WordPress and at least once on Tumblr–even though I have been uploading picture teasers on Tumblr almost daily. You always feel like you could do better, of course.
4. Spikes. Will my book have any moments when there is going to be a sudden spike in sales? WSD unfortunately did not have that opportunity with my last publisher, but I’m hoping with my new one, it’ll see spikes in sales throughout the year. Some months your book does bad, and other months it picks up. Seeing a dramatic spike in sales from time to time is encouraging.
5. Events. My publisher actually attends events and brings its books along. Will my book do well at events? Will it attract new readers? How’s the traffic going to be for each one? If I’ve learned anything from my job as a marketer, it takes really good foot traffic to get even one sale. And bravery.
6. Excitement. Am I going to be able to drum up more excitement this time around? It may seem like I’m just after the sales, but I want the sales because I want people to read my book, to be able to enjoy it, to be able to take something from it. We authors don’t write for the money. We can’t. We do it for the love of the craft and the warmth we feel when a reader has enjoyed our work, wants to interact with us, and wants to become a fan. I truly want my book to change readers’ lives in some way.

***NEWS***

• I’m writing a short story called “The Treacherous Flame” that I plan to publish on Amazon and hopefully Smashwords. It’s going to take place in the Stars universe so that way you can get a general idea of what to expect for The Stars Trilogy.
• I plan to blog three times a week: one post talking about my writing life, chatting about my favorite books, and a critique of anything I find in the world of writing. I can’t set any days, as I have to blog around my work and ballet schedules.

Why Books Help With Trauma

A few weeks ago I wrote about how trigger warnings are effectively censoring books. I feel the need to unearth this topic again because the most recent cry for trigger warnings on literature came from Columbia, where there are students who believe that Greek mythology needs a trigger warning. Four students from Columbia’s Multicultural Affairs Advisory Board wrote that ‘”these texts wrought with histories and narratives of exclusion and oppression, can be difficult to read and discuss as a survivor, a person of color, or a student from a low-income background.”‘

This is insulting to both books and survivors of trauma or whatever background you come from. In my opinion, books that discuss serious topics exist, intentionally or not, as a safe vehicle to navigate these topics from the safety of the written word. Not only do these students really need to search within themselves for why the written word can cause such distress for certain people, but they also need to stop assuming that all survivors of trauma will react the same way, and they need to realize that books can help you recover from trauma.

Keep in mind that I’m writing all of this from my own perspective. This does not mean I am trying to speak for other survivors of trauma. I’m simply presenting one perspective to make a point that I am probably one of many who will not be traumatized by the written word and so neither needs nor desires a trigger warning.

Books have helped me with my trauma, my mental illness, anything unfavorable that has ever happened in my life. Books understood me when people couldn’t. I could relate to the characters in these books when I couldn’t relate to anyone else. They have been part of my healing process. Books are another lifeline I can add to my list of possible lifelines. And believe me when I say you want as many lifelines as possible.

It’s Kind of a Funny Story helped me through my first psychiatric hospitalization because it gave me a glimpse of what to expect. Letting Ana Go did not enable my eating disorder, but it gave me a horrifying, much-needed glimpse of what could eventually happen to me if I kept down my self-destructive path. By the Time You Read This, I’ll Be Dead helped me through suicidal ideation because it presented the story of a girl determined to eventually take her own life–but a lot of good things happened to her despite how she felt. It made me realize that you aren’t telling you to die but your illness is. Amy Reed’s Crazy finally gave me a character with bipolar disorder of whom I could relate with. Even though I read Faultline months and months before my sexual assault happened, I was at least able to draw upon that book afterward to keep me from becoming something the assault wanted me to be. And that book is very dark. But I appreciate its existence because it doesn’t ignore that sexual trauma can negatively, horribly impact a person who sees him/herself beyond help.

If any of these books had trigger warnings, I, personally, would be thoroughly insulted. I am not so fragile that I’m going to collapse into a panic attack from reading a story about someone in the throes of an eating disorder. Books don’t need to censor themselves to cater to fragile feelings. Fragile feelings need therapy, not trigger warnings.

***NEWS***

• When Stars Die does have a new publisher, but I am waiting until I officially pen the contract to release just who it is. You might be able to find out who it is if you’ve been following any of my other social media or have read my most recent newsletter.
• It will have a fall release, either in October or November.
• I don’t talk about poetry much, but I am having a few pieces of poetry appearing in Poetry Pacific and an anthology for survivors of sexual assault.
• I had an author/ballet photoshoot, and here is a collage of some of my favorite pics from the shoot! If you’ve checked my About Me page, you’ll see my new author photo. Anette Abernathy is the wonderful photographer of these pics!