Writer Thoughts Thursday: Poetry Chapbook

This post isn’t advice on how to create a poetry chapbook. Heck, I just completed my first one with 36 poems, and I’m not a heavy writer of poetry, though I tend to write poetically in my novels in some cases; however, I will be submitting it after some serious revisions. Rather, this is me discussing what this poetry chapbook means to me and why I wrote it. In fact, the logo on this blog is the title of what I want to be the first poem in it.

My life has been a snowball effect. At times I have been deeply happy, and other times I have been deeply depressed because I think too much and sometimes too little. If you’ve ever read The Perks of Being a Wallflower, you’ll know what I’m talking about in relations to Charlie’s character, because his past is similar to what happened to me in September.These two binaries are so conflicting. I want to be deeply happy. My loving, incredible parents want that for me as well. I’ve never really praised my parents on my blog, just because what I write on here never warranted it. They do read it. Sometimes they express concern over what I’ve written, but oftentimes I am highly aware they will read it. Writing is the best way for me to speak about what I feel, so some of write I write IS a message to them so we can sit and talk.

I am aware of how other parents take care of their children, just from simple Facebook statuses. My best friend’s mother is incredible when caring for her two autistic sons. She doesn’t define them by their autism. My best Canadian friend is raising her children to love the world and everyone in it–or so I get from her. I couldn’t ask for more incredible parents. They arguably spoil me. I soak in their wisdom and aspire to be like the both of them–chill and satisfied–and they’re my everything. They still give me birthday and Christmas presents, but I don’t need those things from them, though I appreciate them. All I need is them in my life. I don’t know if they know these things, how deeply my appreciation and love for them goes. They can’t unless they are me. They’re wonderful parents, and I hope those reading this have parents as wonderful as mine. I’m tearing up just writing this.

I’ll speak about my fiance in another post, hopefully soon. He’s another, incredibly important person in my life whom I love with the very depths of my heart.

In any case, I want to talk about my chapbook. I do plan to write a preface for it. Mariah is writing a foreward. I also want to write an essay that will take place at the end of the chapbook. There are so many things I want to say that poetry alone won’t convey. I also want to see about writing a short story for it. I want to add stock photo pictures. Rachel Thompson’s book Broken Pieces was an enormous inspiration for this chapbook because she suffered sexual abuse as a child. Though I didn’t suffer as a child, I might as well been a child, as this man was old enough to be my father, even though I saw him as a brother I needed in my life. I have my real brother back, though. We may not talk much, but for the first time in my life, I can say I’ve truly connected with him in ways I am unable to express. To be honest, I’m just shy around him because he’s been out of my life for so long. But this doesn’t mean I won’t do things with him and his wife and son, who is a beautiful boy whom I can’t wait to see grow into an incredible young man. And he will because my brother is an excellent father. He makes mistakes, but what parent doesn’t?

I’ve titled this chapbook Pretty Girl, Unravel Me. There are poems speaking about beauty and how I often feel it is more of a hindrance than society realizes. There are poems speaking about sexual abuse. There are poems about suicide and self-harm. Then there are poems I’m not ready to mention, but poems I hope will be relevant when it comes time for me to cry out. I’m not ready for that. I don’t want to be rushed.

Oh, yes, Mariah says they need a lot of work, but they were drafts I sent her. I simply changed a few things before tossing it out there, but once she re-reads it and my best poet friend reads it and I make more changes, I plan to submit it to Gnome on Pig Productions. I hope they’ll enjoy it despite the dark material. There will be no hard feelings otherwise. They’re brand new, and I’ve been, *ahem,* essentially stalking them. I can tell they know what they are doing. In fact, they went to a convention to help sell an author’s book, and I think that’s great. I’ve always wanted a publisher that does this. It shows they know how to extend their reach. I’m impressed. They’re growing fast.

Yeah, yeah, you should sit back and wait to see how a publisher does, but a publisher ALWAYS needs a first book to take off. Poetry is a hard sell anyway, but I hope through them it will flourish. Even if it doesn’t for whatever reason, I think it’s easier to deal with a self-published poetry chapbook than a novel anyway.

When Stars Die is also with Pandamoon Publishing. I didn’t want to mention anything, but I was able to bypass the entire process and send the book straight to the publisher. That’s all I’m going to mention for now. They’ve been on my list for quite some time. They’ve had their skin in the game for slightly more than two years, and they don’t seem like they’ll be closing their doors any time soon. I’ve stalked them as well and LOVE what I see. I’ve bought two books from them.

I wrote this chapbook because I knew it was time for me to get my feelings out there that a memoir can’t express. I believe poetry is the most expressive, most hard-hitting form of writing out there. Because a poem is short, the feelings it evokes hit you a lot faster than something like a novel will. This isn’t putting down novels at all. After all, I will ALWAYS be a novelist first and foremost.

This chapbook is my first, true experience with delving into poetry. Oh, certainly I’ve written poetry before, but I never sought publication with them. I know with a lot of chapbooks the poetry contained within has been published with other places, which gives these writers a leg up, but I care not to wait ten million years for the 36 poems I’ve written to be published elsewhere, especially because a lot of journals want full rights for about three months. No, no, and no. All of these poems have a cohesive theme that can be divided up into three parts. The connecting theme is about women who have been abused in some way, whether by their own minds or some external forces. They are thoughts coming primarily from me.

I want men to read it. This chapbook may seem like an attack on them–at least I hope it isn’t. But I WANT them to think, “Not all men are like this.” I truly do. This is a valid thought. Their feelings are valid, and I want them to have that response so I can listen to them and why they feel that way. Heck, it could create a poetry chapbook celebrating men from a woman’s perspective! I think a lot of men would appreciate that, I hope. From what I’ve seen of feminism, SOME feminists tend to ignore men’s concerns. Men say that for a reason, and that reason ALWAYS goes unanswered. That thought is painted as selfish, as “this isn’t about you!” How can it be, though? We’re being selfish by brushing it off as a selfish thought. So this chapbook is written for them as well. It’s a stretch, but I want their responses in blog posts, in book reviews, and so on and so forth.

I’ll admit to being afraid of men I sense–maybe wrongly–don’t have good intentions. Unfortunately, this is a lot of them, but this doesn’t mean I’m going to avoid a well-intentioned, intellectual conversation with them. After all, I have an incredible man I am friends with at work. He’s a weekend warrior, always wandering the mall, and we have wonderful conversations. He’ll comment on how pretty I am, which I appreciate, but that isn’t the only thing about me he’s interested in–as a person, nothing beyond that. Same with my fiance and other men I personally know in my life. It’s just strangers I’m wary of, especially older men who don’t have filters when “complimenting” women they deem beautiful.

This chapbook expresses all of me, conveys that I can be deeply unhappy–but I’m not bitter. I’m grappling with this unhappiness I can’t even paint with words. It’s not bipolar depression. It’s situational depression about the direction my life has taken. Oftentimes I wonder if I’ll get that life back, the old me–and that is what is saddest. I feel I’ve been changed for the worst. Nighttime strikes me the hardest for unexplainable reasons. I may have to buy a nightlight. That might help.

The dream I’ve had for my job no longer exists, though I do plan to stay. My degree means little to me now, though I still try hard and want those A’s. This isn’t to say my classes are unfulfilling. They’re very fulfilling. I feel like I’ll never be able to hold down a normal, “adult” job anyway. My body, no matter what chemicals are being injected into me, simply can’t handle the stress of jobs my college-graduated friends have. This is why I’ve dropped being a teacher, working at a publishing house, even just working at a magazine or a newspaper.

I will tell you I’m not better. I’m really not as far as my existence goes, I guess. Yet, I’m not always depressed. I am simply easily triggered now. I’ve been beaten down. Sometimes I wonder if things will ever get better, or if things will just keep snowballing. Sometimes I wonder if I should just jump off this train called life and say, “Well, I’ve lived long enough. I’ve met my dreams. This life is just no longer for me.” It’s so sad to say this: unfortunately, I must keep plowing through, if not for myself, then for others. Yet, it is exhausting to live for others. Even so, if my existence changes people’s lives, then I’ll know my deep unhappiness isn’t a waste of space. I suppose it exists for a reason. Somebody has to live a sad existence, I guess. The chronically saddest people seem to create the most wonderful of things.

I hope people can grasp a sense of my true self from this chapbook, though a lot of the poems are very dark. It isn’t until you get to the last poem that there’s a little slice of hope and beauty when you’re not ready to turn on the light or see the sunrise.

The darkness isn’t innately frightening. It isn’t innately sad. One of the things I hate the most is when people think you can’t know the light without knowing the dark. Not everyone fights hard battles that follow them and warp them for the rest of their lives. We do lose loved ones to death, and that pain is incredibly real, but not everyone is burdened with a thing that can’t be fixed. To say so is a complete injustice for those who TRULY need help to get through life, people who can fully never be independent. Full independence frightens me, makes me sick to my stomach. But people know what happiness feels like. Our brain chemicals dictate so. We don’t need sadness to understand happiness. We will experience sadness, of course. It’s unavoidable. Yet, it’s silly to say, “I wouldn’t know true happiness without the sadness in my life.” I don’t like the sadness in my life. I don’t appreciate it at all. I’m not grateful for it. I’m grateful for all of my happy times, because I can fully give myself to the world. I can’t when I’m in pain. Again, I’m not bitter about my pain. I’m simply being real.

I do experiences happiness. Yet, I’ve lately experience more pain than anything else. In fact, while scrolling through my Facebook feed, I wish the worst thing I could complain about was horrendous cravings that kept me up all night, and that I went out and bought cake to sate them (true status).

I simply have no more control in my life. It seems it will never come back. No amount of soothing words will change this. And I love myself, but not life itself.

The Devastation Mental Illness Brings: Good-Bye, Ned Vizzini

In case all of you haven’t heard the news, YA author, Ned Vizzini, died a few days ago. He committed suicide, but I won’t go into the details because you can simply click the link over his name.

His most notable book is It’s Kind of a Funny Story, which was made into a feature-length film, and a novel that I hold very close to my heart. I do consider Ned Vizzini somewhat of a celebrity, if authors are even allowed to be called such. But a celebrity’s death has never affected me so deeply as his. I was sad when beloved children’s book author Diana Wynne Jones died, because I loved her books, but she was also in the prime of her life, and was able to spend a good bit of her life living her dream as an author of beloved children’s books. She lived what was hopefully a fulfilling life, leaving this incredible magic behind that I hope people of all ages will enjoy.

I saw a Tweet that said ‘So sad about Ned Vizzini. His family is in my prayers.’ My heart immediately jumped to my throat because I knew exactly what happened, because it always seems to happen to artists who suffer with mental illness. Always. I frantically typed his name into Google, and there it was, my fear confirmed: Ned Vizzini died at the age of 32. I immediately burst into tears, the kind of tears where it’s hard to breathe, and I have never, ever experienced such grief from a celebrity’s death before. Ever. I only briefly talked to Ned Vizzini on Twitter before, and a Tweeter and I even made a little hastag for him called Fanzini (which, by the way, is totally spelled wrong). He was even on board with it, as you can see in the picture below.

It wasn’t this brief chat on Twitter that did me in. Not at all.

Before I was hospitalized at Summit Ridge for self-harm and suicidal ideation, I read It’s Kind of a Funny Story in order to have a better grasp of what it was like to be a young, depressed person being admitted into a mental hospital for the first time. I was terrified, as well as severely depressed, and I finished the entire book while waiting for the ambulance that would take me to Summit Ridge, which is a few hours from where I live. There were no beds available in my area.

The story comforted me in ways that no one who has ever been hospitalized with mental illness can ever understand. The fact that it was semi-autobiographical, 85% of the book being based off Ned’s experiences, made it all the more precious to me. It was especially the last paragraph in the book that was so uplifting for me (it’s long, just warning):

“Run. Eat. Drink. Eat more. Don’t throw up. Instead, take a piss. Then take a crap. Wipe your butt. Make a phone call. Open a door. Ride your bike. Ride in a car. Ride in a subway. Talk. Talk to people. Read. Read maps. Make maps. Make art. Talk about your art. Sell your art. Take a test. Get into a school. Celebrate. Have a party. Write a thank-you note to someone. Hug your mom. Kiss your dad. Kiss your little sister. Make out with Noelle. Make out with her more. Touch her. Hold her hand. Take her out somewhere. Meet her friends. Run down a street with her. Take her on a picnic. Eat with her. See a movie with her. See a movie with Aaron. Heck, see a movie with Nia, once you’re cool with her. Get cool with more people. Drink coffee in little coffee-drinking places. Tell people your story. Volunteer. Go back to Six North. Walk in as a volunteer and say hi to everyone who waited on you as a patient. Help people. Help people like Bobby. Get people books and music that they want when they’re in there. Help people like Muqtada. Show them how to draw. Draw more. Try drawing a landscape. Try drawing a person. Try drawing a naked person. Try drawing Noelle naked. Travel. Fly. Swim. Meet. Love. Dance. Win. Smile. Laugh. Hold. Walk. Skip. Okay, it’s gay, whatever, skip. Ski. Sled. Play basketball. Jog. Run. Run. Run. Run home. Run home and enjoy. Enjoy. Take these verbs and enjoy them. They’re yours, Craig. You deserve them because you chose them. You could have left them all behind but you chose to stay here. So now live for real, Craig. Live. Live. Live. Live.”

This last paragraph was a piece of hope for me. Not only had Craig been able to accept his situation and move on from it, but it was also directly from Ned himself–Ned, who suffered from chronic depression; Ned, who wrote that book and others to inspire young people struggling with these things; Ned, who was a mental illness advocate; Ned, who was older than me and survived and seemed to be doing well and seemed like he would always do well and fight through the depressive moments and live and live and live to give hope to people like me. I even once told him on Twitter that his story helped me when I was being admitted into a mental hospital, and he told me that he was glad it did.

It would have been different if Ned had died in a car accident. I would have thought it tragic, I might have even cried a little bit, but, no, he took his own life, after all that hope and light and love he gave through his books alone. Suicide, to me, is the most tragic thing in the world, more tragic than war or famine or any other terrible non-suicide-related thing. Suicide is standing at the edge of the universe and realizing that the universe isn’t going to keep expanding for you anymore the way that it should. Suicide is saying that there is nothing left, that there is no more hope, no more light, no more love. Suicide is also saying that none of that matters. Some individuals may feel suicidal after a break-up, a divorce, or some other earth-shattering thing. But for people like me, suicide is a diagnosis, a reality we struggle with in conjunction with our mental illnesses. Suicide, AKA suicidal ideation, is a symptom of a mental illness. In my case, It’s Bipolar Type I.

I couldn’t believe how hard I was crying. I cried over my grandpa’s death, but not as hard as Ned’s. I cried over my former boss’s death, but not as hard as Ned’s. I cried over my dog’s death, but not as hard as Ned’s. And I knew why I was crying, too: because I know what it feels like to be at the edge of the universe where you can see no more stars.

I’m sensitive to suicide. I cry whenever I hear that someone ended his/her own life. I cry when I hear songs implying suicide. I cried when I wrote a scene in All Shattered Ones about my main character committing suicide (it’s not a spoiler).

Ultimately, I cried for a somewhat selfish reason. This is something I have never, ever admitted to anyone, not even my therapist, but I’m finally coming out with it because I want you all to understand what was behind those tears I was crying when I found out about Ned’s death. Bipolar disorder is forever. It’s not going away. It claims lives every year, in higher numbers than many other mental illnesses because of the devastating highs and lows. I was on Remeron first, and it gave me back who I was. But then it made me severely manic, hospitalizing me again. Then I was put on Trileptal, which did nothing for my depression, but did put a stop to the mania. It took almost half a year before I got put on Abilify, and then I thought the darkness had finally ended, that it was gone for good, so long as I kept taking this little miracle pill. But then it stopped. For good. Upping the dose did nothing, and I was back in that darkness again, suicidal ideation once again taking residence in my mind. Not every person with a mental illness struggles with suicidal feelings. For many, the thought never crosses their minds. But for others like me, who see mental illness as an intolerable thing to live with, it does…and it did every day.

Then I was put on Lamictal. It didn’t work right away. I believe it took about two months for it to finally start working, and now I am back to being stable–but now I can no longer believe that that stability will remain. Oh, certainly I hope it’ll just take a rise in dosage to help, but what’s going to happen to me in those in-between moments, those moments when I am temporarily depressed, when I am seeing the endless chasm of no return, when I see that there is no way to go up?

This is the thing I most fear more than anything else: I fear that ultimately my life will end by my own hand. Do I want it to? No. But sometimes I feel like it’s not a choice. And I have never told anyone this.

It sounds illogical, irrational, maybe even a little silly. After all, how can someone such as me who seems to have it all, who has endured depression before, who has a tight, loving support system, fall prey to such a terrible thing? That’s what everyone thinks…until it’s them. That’s what I thought about Ned Vizzini, that’s what people think about so many artists who took their own lives. One of my favorite singers, Emilie Autumn, attempted to take her own life. Thank goodness she failed. But I’m also afraid that one day she’ll try again…and succeed. I haven’t attempted yet, but I’m scared that one day I will–and one day, that attempt may succeed.

So, ultimately, that’s where the tears stemmed from. If Ned Vizzini, someone who lived his life to help others, to inspire others to fight their own battles, ends his own life, who’s to say that I won’t one day? Of course I don’t know what the future holds, but for someone like me, I HAVE to take it one day at a time. I can no longer look at the future anymore and see a world full of promise and hope that I’m going to be at this stage of life doing this thing and loving this thing and being this thing. I can’t do that, because I have to accept that bipolar disorder limits things. People with chronic mental illnesses have low stress thresholds. Even with proper medication, we can still fall prey to depression if even a little bit of stress is applied. I have to be on anti-anxiety meds for crying out loud, even though I am stable depression-wise. Otherwise, I tend to get panicky when I have a full day.  

And there is nothing I can do about that. So I sometimes irrationally await the day when my dosage of Lamictal stops helping me. And then I wonder ‘what is going to happen to me then? How am I going to feel? Just how severe will it be? Will I be tired of the constant tug-of-war battle and just think it’s better to quit on this life?’ My therapist tells me I’m so brave and strong, but Ned Vizzini seemed like he was, too.

The Usual Banter Against the Traditional Publishing Route

I in one way condone this picture. I thought it’d be fitting for what I’m arguing.

First off, he does have some good points. The agenting process can be time consuming and often agonizing. One of my author friends sent her first now-self-published book to over one hundred agents and received roughly the same response: it’s great, but not for us. However, she is now, hopefully, a soon-to-be hybrid author, as she found a literary agent and was willing to do the edits for that agent before said agent accepted. She is still self-publishing, and she probably will continue doing so because she has found a little bit of success with it. He is also right that the agent then has to find a publisher, and I know not all agents update their authors on which houses they’ve sent the book to, most likely because they’re busy with other clients’ manuscripts, so their clients are left in the dark, something I can’t accept. In fact, I know one girl who wrote an amazing-seeming book, has been with her agent for several years, and that book hasn’t found a home. I often wonder why she doesn’t drop kick that agent and seek out a new one, or have the agent help her self-publish it. He also has a point that once said publisher is found, more edits will be done, almost undoing the edits the agent had you do. And then it can take some time for your book to come out, even after everything is finished. You also may not receive any promotion (other than reviews, like Kirkus), and being published with a traditional publisher doesn’t guarantee a shelf in a bookstore. Your book also has a certain time period in which to sell, and if it doesn’t sell all its books, it’s removed from shelves (however, with the advent of the e-book and online bookstores, authors removed from shelves still have time to build a fan base, so this point is, well, pointless).

One point I didn’t find in the article (it could have been mentioned) is that advances for first-time authors can be pitifully low, not to mention that royalties are pitiful as well (about 12% without an agent, down to 2% with an agent).

You do have full control with self-publishing, but at the end of the day, it’s not for every writer. It certainly isn’t for me, even if I am a little bit marketing-minded. Business-minded, I am not. Writing is an art, publishing is a business. They are two completely different monsters.

At the same time, the one thing I firmly disagree with about this article is that this writer implies that ALL authors should self-publish and never go the traditional route again. 

1. You have to invest your own money into the process, and there is no guarantee you will make double on what you spent, even if you have an infinite shelf life. Even though you can make the process affordable to you, some people still have to tighten their budgets, and so many may not be able to afford self-publishing for quite a while (so they might as well go through the querying process because all that is FREE for them). Plus, unless an editor who charges cheaply has quite a few testimonials, mentions books they have edited (and these books have GOOD reviews), your only other option is to hire one who charges over 1,000 dollars, because these are more often than not some elite editors. Once I really began to research self-publishing, I realized that it wasn’t something I’d be able to afford, because I don’t have any connections who’d edit, format, and do cover art free for me. Some self-published authors are lucky enough to have connections who can make the process free, but most don’t.
2. The authors who sell really well, who become bestsellers, are the exceptional ones, just as the ones in the traditional process. I look at the rankings of many a self-published novel, and MOST are not in the bestseller ranking. Very few make it to that ranking, for whatever reason, so many of those authors who sunk their money into the process may never make double of what they spent. Again, they have an infinite shelf-life, but I’ve followed a few self-published books that have been out for two years, and their rankings still aren’t that great–pitiful, in fact. They must be marketing well–otherwise, I wouldn’t have found them. Some books simply are not meant to be self-published. Some of these books would have found more success with a traditional house. For example, NA (new adult) books have found quite a lot of success with self-publishing compared to other genres. One author I know writes NA, and for some reason, her NA books are more successful than her genre books! I prefer her genre books over her NA ones. I don’t know why this is, as she has hired someone to do PR, but, again, some books just do better in a house than without one. 
   
3. Small presses. Why are people glossing over small presses? Because small presses are, well, small, they are able to devote their time into book publicity, and it is either free or MUCH cheaper than self-publishing (with some houses, you might have to devote a little bit of cash, but this is to keep those houses from going under, as many small presses who come to inception don’t last long because they can’t afford to pay back their editors and what not). My publishing house actually helps with publicity. I help with it as well, just to double the efforts. All authors should delight in marketing their books, even if it’s small, whether or not they’re getting great publicity from their publishers–John Green certainly does, and he is MASSIVELY popular because of it. There are small presses who can also get your book into bookstores (Spencer Hill Press and Entangled Publishing come into mind, and you don’t need an agent). To me, small presses are much better than self-publishing, because you don’t have long wait times to hear back from one, it’s often free, and well, there are a bunch of other benefits I could list hear. I heard back from my publisher in just a few days. Though they’re new, my experience with them has been stellar, and they are continually revising their model–and their authors are allowed to help with this. I have also had an active part in every process of my book, so I was not kept in the dark. I also had the final say in the cover (though I had help in deciding which design would be best because I am too close to my book to know what type of cover would market my book well).
4. Being in bookstores and libraries. It isn’t true that you have to be a bestseller, or you’ll be axed from the shelves. I read primarily YA, and I have seen many, many books that are still on the shelves whose authors are not bestsellers (paperback books, mind you). All you have to do is sell out within their time frame, and the bookstore will order your book again. Now being traditionally published doesn’t guarantee a spot on the shelf, but if you do make it to the shelves, that is publicity in itself, as many people do wander the shelves seeking their next book to read. You’ll also likely get into libraries, which is another form of publicity. Most self-published books don’t even have a chance of being on shelves (they can get into their independent bookstores, but they’re not a chain). This doesn’t mean those self-published books won’t become bestsellers, but, again, simply being on a shelf, with a great cover, to boot, can add to the publicity.

I am going to end this  on a positive note for the sake of this author, as I am writing this article to argue against his. Check out his book, Iona Portal. Great cover art, and it seems interesting. This is a guy who knows what he’s doing.

To balance out this article, I am going to write one on the positives of self-publishing, arguing against an article who says you should never do it (it’s a really horrendous article, completely biased, and has god-awful points. This guy’s article at least has some valid points).

The Dangers of Making Your Amazon Ranking Graph Public

First off, the opinions I’m about to post are in complete disagreement about why I think it’s unprofessional to show readers your actual Amazon ranking graph that conveys the ups and downs of your ranking. Perhaps I wasn’t being clear enough with what I meant, but in this post, I WILL be clear.

Shoshanna Evers: I disagree 🙂 I see it as authors being excited about their readers! Without our readers, there would be nothing to celebrate! (Though she actually sees my point)

Lauren Hammond:  I don’t. Especially if it’s done out of excitement. It’s an accomplishment.

Kendra Ayers: I think it’s fine. People are proud when they see ratings and reviews go up or are positive and it encourages sales and more reviews I think. Authors should be proud of all of the hard work they’ve accomplished.

Raymond Vogel (My Awesome Publisher): Well, it’s kind of the only way to capture the Amazon ranking at the moment you achieve some level of success worth remembering… on the biggest book selling place in the world.

Gwyn Diller: I think a good author has earned bragging rights. I, personally, wouldn’t see it as unprofessional. Everyone likes recognition, it’s human nature to want to “show off” in a sense. We all are allowed to pat ourselves on the back every once in a while for big accomplishments.

Okay, now for my opinion. Keep in mind, again, that I argued against some of these points on Facebook and Twitter, and I may have misspoken so that the posters didn’t fully grasp what I was trying to say. Still, this post will be open for comments, and I look forward to your views!

So I was perusing Facebook and saw that one of the authors posted her ranking graph–she took a picture of it. Now it’s fine to take a picture of your graph as your own personal accomplishment, but keep it to yourself. In any case, if you don’t know what it looks like, this is it (this is not the author’s graph. It is a random one):

I wanted to comment that she shouldn’t be showing her readers this, especially because her ranking was rising, but I decided to take it to my Facebook author page to see what others thought–without pointing back to her. She deserves to remain anonymous, as she is a fan of mine. As you can see from above, all disagree with me, so let me explain.

First off, I now understand how Amazon rankings work, so I’m going to explain that here. Say you sold 100 books in one day. You may fall down to 10,000, perhaps lower. However, you don’t sell anything for the rest of the week, but your ranking can still be fairly low because no other books have yet to sell more than you in a short period of time. I know someone who was at 80,000 on his launch day, and he was 80,000 for the rest of the week, though he sold no more books after his launch day: he let me in on this so I could figure out ways to help him in terms of sales, but I ultimately had to realize that sales are the business side of things, not marketing, and I am not business-minded.  Now let’s say another person also sold 100 books, but he sold it over a one week period. His ranking will be higher than the person who sold 100 in one day, but they still sold the same amount during that same week. Rankings are calculated based on how many books are sold during a set period of time. The shorter the period, the lower the number. Following me? If not, feel free to ask questions in the comments.

Here is another example. Say you are ranking at 100,000, which means the 99,999 books ahead of you are selling more. However, if for some reason a large amount of people below you sell more than you in a short period of time, and you drop to 1,000,000 during that same day, this doesn’t mean you didn’t make any sales. You made sells, but a crap ton of people below you suddenly sold a lot more than you did in a much shorter period of time–it’s very unlikely, but it’s an example. So this is why I think the obsession with the Amazon ranking is silly. I can guarantee you mine is probably very high because my book is out of stock on Amazon. But there is Barnes and Noble and Books A Million, too, as well as that one store in Tennessee.

Now on to readers. Readers can look at a book’s ranking on the book’s page. Just because a book says 1,000,000 does not mean it didn’t make any sales that day–it could have, but by some wild fluke a crap ton of books that were originally below it sold a ton more in such a short period of time. For the readers who understand Amazon’s algorithm, this number may not mean much to them, especially if the book has a decent amount of ratings. However, if you suddenly post your graph of your fluctuating rankings, the behind-the-scenes stuff, readers now have access into roughly how many sales you MAY be making, and for those who understand the algorithm, this may be a big turn off to them because now they know how your book may be doing in terms of sales, especially if your rankings are poor. They then may think your book isn’t worth buying because they’ll think it’s not selling much because it sucks.

Even with great, fluctuating rankings, I still think that is none of readers’ business. If it were, this graph would be accessible to them on the book page, but it is not. It is for the author and the author alone–and publisher, if you have one. I personally don’t check rankings because all I can do is keep writing and do my own marketing to the best of my ability: a ranking won’t change how aggressively I market. Thus, this is where I think it is none of readers’ business to even receive a glimpse into your ranking graph. Am I saying the Amazon ranking is pointless? Not at all. Books who stay consistently low are obviously selling, but just because another book’s rank is constantly fluctuating doesn’t mean there are no sales–it just means your book is selling over a much longer period of time. You can sell 1,000 in a day or a year and never sell any more after that day. See what I mean?

Now either yesterday or the either day, I posted how many adds I had on Goodreads for When Stars Die–it is more than 500, and the number just keeps rising. One poster pointed out that this was hypocritical of me because I didn’t have any problem posting my adds, but I have a problem with people posting their ranking graphs. Now I can see where the poster is coming from, but there is one flaw in that argument–adds do not means sales. I can have 10,000 adds, but my book may not be selling at all, for whatever reason, be it monetary issues for readers, too many books the reader needs to finish before buying another, prioritizing certain books above others, ect. But these adds do mean that readers WANT to read my book. So these adds in no way give readers a glimpse into the sales of my book at all. It’s just a cool thing that exists to show the exposure of my book. At least, for me, it does.

I understand the poster put up her graph because she wanted to show her fans that she was determined to lower the number, but book selling is not an easy thing at all. As I said in one post, it is not like selling Coke, and we need to remain realistic over how many books are expected to sell. I don’t know the business side of books. I don’t know why some books sell and others don’t, even the books with great publicity. The problem nowadays is that publishes are giving out extremely large advances to books they think will wildly succeed, but then some of those books turn out to be a flop–so not even the greatest of publicity can mean sales.

Now let’s go back to the ranking on the book’s page. If you’re ranking at 1,000, I see no problem in you taking a picture of that and posting it for your fans to see, as they have access to this number already, and it can be a way to thank your fans–and sometimes we authors do deserve to have some bragging rights. But the behind-the-scenes stuff is for the author only, or for the author and publisher only. Again, if it were readers’ business, it would be accessible to them, and it’s not. So keep your graphs to yourselves and remain professional about your sales as an author. To me, if you post your ranking graph, you might as well tell readers how many books you’re selling, because some might be able to calculate that from the graph anyway. Again, NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS. Readers DO NOT need to know this kind of stuff.

So what do you think about authors posting their rankings graph? Do you think it’s okay and cool, or, like me, do you think it’s unprofessional?

The Reality of What Indie Authors Make–It Isn’t What I Thought It’d Be

I added this old man in for laughs.

Rachel Thompson recently addressed the topic of the reality of how much indie authors can truly make. I apply this to people who are even traditionally published, be it with a small press or big press. First-time authors end up finding out that they have to use their advances to pay for the marketing of their book, but with the proliferation of the internet, there are some cheap alternatives to actually get your book out there, and there are plenty of authors who have found success with the internet alone.

Now I don’t know what sales on my book are, but they might be low, and they might not be. I’m just starting out, so I hope to get to where she gets one day. I mean, really, the reality she seems to posit is actually fairly good, compared to the reality of most indie authors, which is actually much lower for the average one. But I suppose you just have to be business-minded to find success with this market, and I am not–hence, why I have a publisher.

Rachel Thompson, on the other hand, uses much of what she makes to pay for travel to conferences, conferences, Google Adwords (which is such a difficult thing to use that her husband has made a business around it), still having taxes taken out of what she makes, paying money to market her social media effectively, editing of all books (which is understandable, considering she is indie), and the fact that she still has to have a day job–which, well, most authors do.

Okay, so let me break it down for you on the figures Rachel Thompson puts forth. She makes 36,000 dollars per eighteen months, which is about 2,000 dollars a month. Me being with a press and all, I could live off 36,000 dollars a year, 2,000 dollars a month, considering where I live, too–this is assuming I’m not having to sink money into marketing costs myself–also, the fact that I will be getting married to someone who makes about that much money, so our incomes combined would allow me to be a full-time writer. I actually use some of the money I make at my part-time job to pay for blitzes and other things that help increase exposure, as well as my publisher helping out with the marketing aspect of my book.  So perhaps this post is preaching more toward people who are with small presses or traditional houses, where they don’t really have to sink too much money into their own books.

In any case, after all costs, Rachel is left with 7,000 dollars, which isn’t even the average advance a first-time author makes. In fact, a 7,000 dollar advance from a house is pretty darn good. She says this covers 3.5 months of rent, but if she’s working another job, she still seems to have 7,000 dollars left over.  She admits she isn’t complaining, but when I was going into her article, I expected the figures to be abysmally low for an indie author, and they’re apparently not.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is that I would kill to make 2,000 dollars a month for my book, even if I did have to sink it into the marketing of my book. If 7,000 dollars were left after it all, that’s extra money to me, extra money to do whatever the heck I wanted with–an advance, essentially. Now I will admit that money is not my priority, but I do want to make money off my books so I could eventually go full-time. However, I may never go full-time because there are other things I love, like editing and PR and all that, and I don’t think I could quit those, even if my writing alone afforded me to.

All in all, I thought the figures she would posit would be much lower–which is the whole point of this article. To me, she is very successful, money-wise, to be making 2,000 dollars a month, even if most of it has to go toward the marketing of herself and her books.

Now tomorrow I will talk about how much I do love marketing my own book–and how all authors, even with big houses, should do so. After all, that book is their baby, so why wouldn’t they want to help out with marketing it? You can’t rely on your house alone to do so. 

***In Other News***

There is a cover art contest going on–I think it is, you can’t really see the covers–and I would love it if you could all vote for When Stars Die. The top ten people will receive something awesome. So just click here. Thank you!

Proper Etiquette for Writing Reviews on Goodreads

First off, I know I said I was going to do a post on my love for marketing my own book, but, well, I decided this one needs to take precedence.

I was reading the reviews on a favorite book of mine that I received as an ARC from Spencer Hill Press, and my heart broke into a million pieces upon reading one review. I will not name the book or author, as I don’t want to embarrass her, but hers is a book I hold dear to my heart because SHP publishes books that bigger houses may not pick up because they are so different and new. While it’s the only book I have read from SHP, I will be following them to see what other books they produce. In any case, I fell in love with her book upon seeing the cover and reading the description. I didn’t even care about the reviews because it is the kind of book I read: dark and eerie. That’s my thing. And I totally GOT the book. I have some strong literary analysis skills, and while the book wasn’t perfect (what book is), I was able to analyze the characters and situations to understand why they did what they did–and it all made perfect sense, given the threatening environment they’re in. I so wish I could name the book and author, because hers is a book I support fully, but I sadly can’t.

But the review I read was so nasty and so despicable, and while it attacked the book, the attack on the book also attacked the author, and I was so enraged that I felt like posting a response, but I held back, knowing it would do better on my blog.

This reviewer was deplorable. It isn’t that she gave it a 1 star–my book has several three star ratings, but they are so thoughtful and so considerate and they’re rooting for me to grow as a writer, which warms my heart. I even asked one reviewer for some tips on making the sequel shine.

Her review was not thoughtfully written, and, in fact, it was nasty–and included an AGGRAVATING gif. I hate gifs posted in reviews on Goodreads, even if the review was good. I don’t fault her for her opinions, as I felt they could have been written in a more thoughtful, intelligent manner, but then she said this at the end of her review: Fuck you, book. To me, this is also an attack on the author as well, as she is the one who wrote this book, who worked hard on it, who poured her heart into it, who wrote the book she wanted, and that SHP worked really hard on it for her too. Behind every book is a human being who worked REALLY hard on that book, and I feel like sometimes reviewers forget that. You take a risk when you buy a book, knowing that you might love it or hate it, so take some responsibility, too.

I don’t like, *ahem*, asshole critics. I HATED Simon Cowell on American Idol. I don’t know why so many loved him. I also hate some of the critics on some of those cooking shows. Sure, hate can sometimes inspire one to get better, but for many, it just tears them down and makes them want to give up on the one thing they love. Constructive criticism, people. Is that so hard?

So the ‘fuck you, book’ doesn’t sound too bad, but then it gets worse with the people replying to the review. I’m not going to quote them word for word. Some said they wanted this book burned. Another comment in the review said the book was so stupid, that it made her teeth hurt, and a commenter wanted to keep this review, even though he/she had never read the book. Someone wanted all the characters to die–in fact, the person’s brain broke just reading the review! Some thought the review was hilarious. Others thought the book would give cancer to those who read it (ableism much?). Some wanted the reviewer herself to burn the book, even though this commenter HADN’T READ IT! So many people who replied to this ONE STAR review had never read it. I think one star reviews should be taken with a grain of salt more than the other stars in the rating process, simply because most one star reviews are poorly written and are filled with so much assholery that I’m surprised people take the review itself seriously. This is why I often retreat to three star reviews, because they are mostly unbiased.

I’m not saying people aren’t allowed to post one star reviews, but I think they should do so intelligently and explain, really explain, why they feel the way they do about this book instead of forgetting that there is a human being who wrote this book. Like I don’t like Twilight, but I would never go on there and be so mean and nasty about it. In fact, I just rated it a one star and left it at that because sometimes it is hard not to get nasty when you feel like you’ve wasted your time reading a book you didn’t enjoy. So if you feel like you are going to get so nasty that you inevitably attack the author, DON’T WRITE A THING.

When you write a review, especially if you have some criticism to give, make it constructive. Make it so that it encourages the author to become better, even if it is a one star review. We writers do want to get better with each book, and readers need to realize this. As I’ve said before, I’m taking my three star reviews of When Stars Die and applying them to the sequel so that the sequel is MUCH better than When Stars Die–that’s the hope, but I know I can’t please everyone. If I read a book, and I didn’t ever want to read a book from that author again, I would still want the author to keep writing, and I would hold on to the hope that the author got better so that maybe one day I could go back to him/her and see what he/she has out now. Stephenie Meyer is my least favorite author, but this doesn’t mean I want her to quit writing. I hope she continues to get better, in fact. She deserves the success she has gotten because she did work REALLY hard on that book, and I know that because agents make you edit the crap out of your book. Editors at houses make you edit the crap out of that book. Even if the book still doesn’t seem publishable, editing, at the end of the day, is a little bit based on opinion–except for the grammar parts, of course.

So how do you feel about nasty reviews?

Tomorrow, I’m going to blog about how much an indie author can make, because, while I love this blogger, I also laughed at her “realistic” numbers she was posting, and I have something to say.

NaNoWriMo and Why I Can’t Participate

That time of year is here again–well, it’s always here. NaNoWriMo! I have never done NaNoWriMo because I have always been engaged in other writerly endeavors. I am a one book at a time person. Just because I’m outlining a book as I’m writing another doesn’t mean I’ll be writing that book once the outline is done. Instead of being able to participate in NaNo this year, I will be working on The Stars Are Infinite and will be getting back to When Heaven Was Blue.

That being said, I once participated in ViNoWrimo, which was Vicious Writing Month, back when the Vicious Writing group had a publishing company before going under due to poor management. So, take notice small presses: poor management will do you in. Big time. In any case, we were all supposed to write this one book in a month, and the best book received a contract. I didn’t win. I was still green at the time, but I will tell you it was about a 19th century girl giving sexual favors to a much older man in exchange for receiving money to go to university, as going to university was taboo in that day for women. I’ll probably get back to it, because I want to write a Victorian drama, but it will be more mature–still YA, of course, but possibly pushing NA boundaries.

Of course, I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to participate in NaNoWrimo.

Guys, I don’t know how authors do it. I can see how self-published authors are able to do it because they can set their own deadlines and change them as they see fit, but with traditional or small press authors, I don’t see how it’s possible. We’re always working on the next novel that we want to be published. Do some authors plan their NaNo novel in advance and eventually want to publish it down the road somewhere? Or is NaNo just a chance for them to let loose? I practically have a NaNo all the time, because when I start a novel, it takes generally a month for me to draft, only because I have a thorough outline. Revisions, of course, take longer, and they should.

Here are a few comments from writers who will be participating in NaNo this year:

Katie Harder-Schauer: I’m participating in NaNo this year. My book is going to be an apocalypse novel.

Jennifer Castillo: Yup! I am. Year two, here I come! Book tagline: She is out for revenge…against those who forgot her name.

Mariah E. Wilson: Part of me REALLY wants to, but I want to finish Pitbully, and I don’t think I can be effective at doing both. I have an idea that I’m mapping out in my head…just in case (but it’s a secret).

Amy Carlson: I’m doing NaNo this year! I have a bit of an outline done, but I’m sure I’ll end up pantsing a large portion of it.

Wanndering: I guess Nano is the kind of push amateur and aspiring writers need to finish their novels. I know it is for me.

And a funny comment from my publisher, just cause. It was in response to sending in The Stars Are Infinite in to him in December.

Raymond Vogel: I was wondering if you were getting me anything for Christmas.

So are you guys doing NaNo this year? What are your plans? Do you outline or pants it? If you’re an author, how do you make time for NaNo? If you’re a writer, what does NaNo do for you?

Tomorrow my blog post will be very simple. It simply consists of a contest I have been entered in to that I hope you will all vote on When Stars Die.

The Anonymous World of Tumblr: What “Makes” an Author

After the press release from YA Interrobang, I received a rather, well, insulting anon on Tumblr who basically told me I was cheating myself by going with a small press–and a new one at that. I will admit upfront that I did take a chance knowing they were new. Oftentimes experts will tell you to wait a year or two to see how the press does before submitting to it, but there were so many factors involved in my decision to submit to them that it would take too long to list them all, but one factor was that I was tired of holding my book back, not submitting it because I was afraid it wasn’t ready enough, and I just wanted to take a chance. I was at that point in my life where I realized I needed to take chances, and I was very happy that I did. 

In any case, not only did they insult AEC Stellar Publishing, Inc. and call them a vanity press because you don’t receive advances (but the royalties we receive can more than make up for the advances), but they insulted me by saying ‘you SEEM like you want to be an author, so why did you cheat yourself?’

Apparently I’m not an author, even though I have a book published with good reviews (only 23, I think, but still, that’s good enough, and they’ll keep growing, I know), with a publishing house that is a small press and not a vanity publisher, a book with a beautiful cover, a book that received great editing, and a book that received amazing exposure, a lot from me, but my publishing house is so flexible that they were/are willing to listen to advice to make them better, even though I think they’re great already because they produce great books in the first place. Plus, I do need to speak up more about what I want. And even though they don’t offer advances, that doesn’t mean they aren’t a legitimate house.

Some authors will tell you that you deserve an advance and shouldn’t settle for less, but if the house offers great royalties, I say, go for it. It doesn’t make them less legitimate than a house that does offer advances, but pitiful royalties. I even had this discussion with indie authors on Twitter. Some houses have you pay for a few things for your book, but the money DOESN’T GO TO THEM. IT GOES TO THE PEOPLE WHO PROVIDED THE SERVICES. And these indie authors agreed that that was still a legitimate house.Doesn’t mean your royalties will make up for the average advance (which, on average, can be anywhere from 500-1000), but I care more about readers reading my book, and even at a big house, the average book only sells 500 copies. Ever. 

I’m tired of this attitude that you’re not an author if you go with a vanity publisher or self-publish. You are an author, ESPECIALLY if you took the time to make your book into a product that deserves sales. I would never ever recommend a vanity publisher, as you can do it much cheaper yourself, but if you can find a good, honest vanity publisher, know what you’re getting into, know the ins-and-outs of publishing from an author’s perspective, then I will not judge you for choosing this path. You are an author, regardless. A published book means you are an author.

***Repeat after me: A published book means you are an author.***

A published anything means you are an author. Ky Grabowski has a short story published, but she is still an author, even if it’s just one thing. I have been an author since I was in high school, although, admittedly, I didn’t feel like a real author until When Stars Die was published, but, you know, that’s my own personal insecurity that I eventually got over. 

Overall, I did not cheat myself. I don’t feel like I cheated myself. Does this mean I won’t consider an agent in the future? No. I MIGHT, but I will still publish with AEC Stellar. You cannot tell me I cheated myself when you have no idea what the process was like for me, and that you have no idea what was in my contract, which I am not allowed to speak of. 

My next post is going to be an interview that Mariah Wilson did of Writers AMuse Me Publishing, as they are now accepting playwrights. 

How NOT to Talk to Me as a Writer

Lately as more people have found out that I’m getting published, I’ve come across a lot of interesting situations both out in the world and on the internet. So I’ve decided to compile a list of things you probably shouldn’t say to an author. Or to me, specifically.

1. “Tell me a story!”

Whoa, okay. Slow down there. For one thing, I wrote a book, a thing that took a week to outline. I didn’t just pull it out of my butt and start writing by the seat of my pants. I am not a panster. I don’t like writer’s block.

Second, I don’t exist for YOUR entertainment. Oh, sure, I wrote a book and books are entertainment, but my book exists for your entertainment, not me.

Also, storytelling and writing are two very different skill sets. I can applaud people who can come up with a story on the fly to tell someone, but I am not one of those people who can.

And don’t be mad when I tell you that I don’t like being put on the spot. This is a common complaint among writers for a reason.

2. “I want to write a book that is about…”

First off, not to be rude, but I frankly don’t care what your book is about. I want to see you writing that book because your story means absolutely nothing to me unless it’s on paper. When I come up with ideas, I don’t even mention this idea until I actually have the first draft written because an idea means nothing until it has come to fruition.

Plus, most people who constantly talk about their ideas do very little in the way of actually getting anything done.

3. “Where do you have the time?”

Oh my gosh. I really don’t. Seriously. But I have to make time because it’s my career, just as you have to make time for your job. It’s going to be even worse when school starts because I might only have time for revisions instead of actually being able to write the sequel to When Stars Die. I might only be able to plan the sequel and actually get writing it come December, when I have an entire month off.

4. “Well, when you get rich and famous…”

Hold it right there. What makes you think suddenly writing a book is going to garner me fame and fortune? Because JK did it, Stephenie Meyer, Stephen King, whoever else? Those authors are one in a million. They don’t make up the world of authors.

I mean, it’s great that you want me to get big and make lots of money. So do I! It’s my goal to be a bestseller and to be an inspiration to my fans. I think I can make that goal come true with constant hard work. But also realize fame and fortune doesn’t happen overnight. Also realize fame and fortune doesn’t happen for most authors. And, last, also realize that an author’s first book usually isn’t the book that gains them success.

However, this doesn’t mean I’m not working toward success. I certainly hope When Stars Die is a success. I want it to be, but I’m also writing this other book too, and I’m going to keep writing.

5. “Will you read my manuscript?”

This question isn’t so bad, but they ask it with the assumption that I’ll do it for free. I’m only willing to do this with other AEC authors with the assumption that they’ll read my manuscript back–mostly because they are expected to critique it.

Otherwise, if you’re not an AEC Stellar author, I’m charging you. Sorry.

I just don’t have the time to read for free. I can’t even make time to participate in my writer group’s critique sessions–as in returning the favor by critiquing other writers. I can only attend the write-ins because, well, we write.

6. “I don’t really like to read.”

We are done with this conversation.

Paranormal Tropes My Book Destroys

The other day I was going through my Twitter feed, which re-introduced me to Steph Bowe, a young author who had her first book published at 15 titled Girl Saves Boy. She’s nineteen now, but I once obsessed over her at one point because I wanted to be among the elusive breed of teen authors, but now I’m just among the elusive breed of authors under 25 since most find they don’t receive their first publication until they’re older than 25, I guess. But I did start When Stars Die at 15 before shelving it for about 6 years, so I guess that counts for something. But you guys should check out Steph Bowe’s blog. It’s where I got the idea for today’s post since she mentions paranormal tropes she’s stumbled upon in published YA paranormal books.

Let the troping begin!

1. The male interest is often hundreds of years older than the protagonist. Oliver is only a few years older than Amelia, but Amelia is 18 at the start of the book. If it weren’t for a certain something, technically Oliver would be Amelia’s age.
2. Special eyes, being ridiculously attractive. Nope. Oliver is very average, and I make that a point when Amelia describes him. But as her feelings deepen for Oliver, he becomes more attractive. I do this to show that our burgeoning love for someone can make that person more beautiful. Also, Oliver’s eyes are a grayish color, so there isn’t exactly anything special about them. But those eyes do become more beautiful as Amelia begins to fall in love with him.
3. Creepy, stalkery supernatural creatures. Nope. Not Oliver. Amelia and Oliver already have feelings for one another right when the book begins, which is probably a first among the paranormal genre. Oliver wants more and makes it known, while Amelia really just wants to be a nun in her fervent attempt to save her brother, who is a witch, the ultimate sin in her world. But Oliver isn’t stalkery or pushy about it. They’re best friends, for crying out loud, so they know each other very well. If Oliver’s pushy, it’s only because their interactions suggest both of them want more than what’s already there.
4. Supernatural creatures being at war with one another. Not in my book. Witches are victimized by humans. Another supernatural force wants to victimize humans for revenge.
5. “But it can’t be real!” and then the MC suddenly believes it a few sentences later. I make it a point to have Amelia believe she’s hallucinating about a certain supernatural force she sees. It takes some building up for Amelia to realize her supernatural force is not a product of a hallucination. Also, I do this for His Vanity. But Gene struggles with hallucinations anyway.
6. “You know he/she loves you, right?” Again, feelings at beginning of book. Amelia’s best friend had nothing to do with this. In fact, she discourages the relationship because of where Amelia and Oliver stand.
7. “I don’t trust you.” “You shouldn’t.” This would be a spoiler for me to explain, so I’ll just say Amelia and Oliver have a deep-seated trust for one another.

I did write When Stars Die with the idea that I would eliminate all paranormal tropes. I am very much burnt out on reading paranormal (unless it’s recommended to me and lacks the usual tropes), so I decided to write When Stars Die as the ideal paranormal book that I’d like to read. So I hope you guys enjoy WSD. Also, I just want to say that WSD is actually more heavy on the paranormal than the romance aspect, in spite of the tropes I chose to throw down. Granted, I highly doubt WSD is free of tropes, but it’s certainly original in its own right.