My Whiny Exhausted Self and Some Updates

This week has been draining because it’s been raining like crazy and bad weather usually equals fatigue for me. Sometimes pain. But mostly fatigue. So I’m feeling disconnected from everything. I feel stuck in a rut, plain and simple. Everything’s been so routine that I’m tempted to jump out of an airplane and land splat on a landing strip (by the way, WordPress brings up some not so pleasant pictures when you type in ‘landing strip’). While writing is nice, it’s still routine. Revise this chapter. You have notes for how to revise this chapter, so you know what you’re going to do when you revise. Oh, this isn’t working, let’s re-do that. Darn it. You stupid girl, you didn’t add that one important character, so now you have to re-do it. Oh, you’ve got more ideas. Save those for line edits so you can get through this revision.

And of course my part-time job has sucked lately because all I work is the dang mall, which has sucked, and I’m getting tired of it because, well, it’s the summer and people are on vacation, so getting appointments has been a bunch of root canals, so I’ve been so negative at work lately. Coupled with the fact that I’m probably the only one not getting sells because I only work the mall, and you’ve got a nasty stew of inferiority. Luckily I’ve got a client’s manuscript for some extra money, but it’s not like I can take on a bunch of these. At least ballet has been going well, but we’re off next week, so that’s sucktastic.

I’m crabby today, if you can’t tell. I feel exhausted…for no reason. And just stale. Flat out stale. I suppose I’m just tired of this bad weather…and routine. I’ll change it somehow. Extra money means being able to go out and spend said extra money.

I honestly don’t even want to do this blog post I feel so bad, but I like to keep you guys updated on my writing life…and my life and me and all that yummy stuff.

But the good news is that my crummy mood did not interfere with my productivity and practical writerly responsibilities. I am 37,000 words into His Vanity (which was previously Stolentime). This is about halfway through. When I finished the draft, I ended it at 57,000 words, but obviously since it’s a fantasy, it’s going to need more fat on it since I’m a bare bones writer when it comes to rough drafts. But I’ve got ideas to flesh out one character’s chapters in the line edits and my chapters are longer than they were in the draft (10 pages per chapter on average). Revisions are going very smoothly and I do have ideas for when line edits come about. Hopefully I don’t have some sort of existential crisis with my writerly life  and find myself rocking back and forth while my cat just watches and licks her paw.

I’m also realizing that John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars is really influencing the way I write about depression and suicidal ideation, and that’s not a bad thing at all considering I read TFIOS for the purpose of helping me with Gene’s contemporary voice and making certain I make Gene a realistic character–let’s be honest, depression and suicidal ideation suck. He’s not going to be a bright, sunshiny character. He’s going to be morose at times. How could you not be? But this kid’s a fighter, even if he just wants to give up at times. So I’m really thinking that a good marketing line for His Vanity can be something like ‘A clash between John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars and Jake Bonsignore’s Empyreal Illusions.’ Sounds good to me.

As for When Stars Die, my contract manager is halfway through. It will have a gorgeous new cover, and I’m actually thinking about using my own old cover for swag and what not, while also using the new, not-yet-approved cover. Hey, I’ve got the money. Why not? I’ve even been contemplating about making a When Stars Die t-shirt (text, maybe a design. Not certain).

But, other than being in a mood, at least I have nothing tomorrow and I can just revise. Maybe I’ll try to fit in two chapters, if this blasted weather doesn’t wear my poor body out.

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Author:

Also known as The Dancing Writer, she is currently working on The Stars Trilogy, among other works.

4 thoughts on “My Whiny Exhausted Self and Some Updates

  1. Weirdly enough I felt this yesterday… but the UK is always rainy. I think it was a mix of not knowing if I was doing the right thing or not. Hopefully the sun comes out soon for you and the weekend comes around nice and quick!

    If only we could do what we wanted to do everyday…

    By the way, in terms of being signed, does this change how you write?

    1. It doesn’t change how I write at all. It changes how I think about my writing life. I take it more seriously now that I know it’s a career and not something that I hope to make a career. Really, with my writing, I just want to improve with every book that I write.

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