Our Slice of Heaven Among Mental Illness Hell

So lately I’ve been thinking about how to use Tumblr as a marketing platform to reach out to teen readers. Then I realized I don’t think that I can. Tumblr’s great to retreat to when I need more personal advice, but I don’t think it’s so great as a marketing platform for anyone. The people on there fit the ‘misery-loves-company’ phrase perfectly, and it honestly makes me very angry.

My therapist told me I should use the depressing parts in my novel to hook them, but honestly, having to do that makes me a little sick. These are the same people who will post triggering pictures in innocent tags (like ‘bipolar’ or ‘mental health’) with a complete disregard that those pictures will affect someone negatively, like me. I then realized these people are content with misery.

I get it. Mental illness sucks, but it angers me to no end when people don’t even try to find happiness. I remember speaking with one boy on Tumblr who absolutely refused to acknowledge that his parents were just trying to help him, who believed everyone hated him, and kept reminding me that he hated himself too. It made me angry because he came to me for advice and was throwing it all back in my face. You can freaking change your thinking, even though you can’t change the way you feel. You can work to find happiness, even when depressed. You can’t sit around waiting for something when a slice of heaven takes a battle to have. I understand depression makes you think and feel these things, but this is why you go to therapy and listen to your therapist’s advice when he/she tells you to separate yourself from your mental illness.

I have no sympathy for people who drown in negative thinking while actively refusing to do nothing about their thinking and insisting they can never be happy when they haven’t taken a single step toward working for that slice of heaven. People like that infuriate me because even while I was depressed I was fighting to get better through therapy, ballet, work, and medication. I didn’t lie down and die. There were days where I let myself drown in the feelings, where I wanted to die, but not once did I consider stopping my medications, no matter how much they weren’t working for me. Happiness was something I wanted, and I knew that for someone with a mental illness, obtaining it would not be easy.

Why do some mentally ill people not want to be happy? By actively refusing to take a single step toward happiness, people are essentially saying they’d rather drown in misery while making others miserable around them (and yes, we do need to be considerate of those around us, even when ill. Constant misery can make others miserable) rather than trying to find some way to be happy.

If you can’t take care of your emotional health first, don’t expect others to take care of it for you.

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Author:

Also known as The Dancing Writer, she is currently working on The Stars Trilogy, among other works.

6 thoughts on “Our Slice of Heaven Among Mental Illness Hell

  1. This is a great post. I definitely agree. I’ve struggled with depression since I was a kid, and though I’ve never been to a psychiatrist–I have a crippling fear of medication and mental institutions–I’ve still always worked towards happiness. I’ve never given up my dream of being a career writer, and that has held me through when nothing else has. I made the effort to find a good school when I hated my old school.

    I totally agree that people need to take steps for their own happiness, and I’d also like to say that people should damn well put trigger warnings on their posts before they start posting gruesome or depressing pictures or posts.

    ~Dianna

    1. I’m glad to hear that! If you’re able to find balance in your life without meds, then that’s perfect. All I know is I needed meds to have my feelings back. Now I’m feeling too much, but I might still be struggling with anxiety; however, I haven’t let it bring me down.

      Ugh…it’s the teens who do it on Tumblr. They claim these triggering pics help them describe their feelings, but it is far healthier to write about your feelings so you can work through them.

  2. What a great post! I couldn’t agree more. I had a friend who loved drowning in her own sea of misery and gloom, and even though she claimed she was looking for happiness, I could actually see her pushing it away. She and I aren’t friends anymore because she said I don’t understand her. I guess some people are a lost cause until they find themselves.

  3. Dear Amber,
    I really like the picture you used in this post. I wanted to use if for a College website. I’m not sure if this picture is an open source or has copy rights where protocols need to be followed for usage. As an institution we are only allowed to use pictures that are available for public use. Do you have ownership of this picture? If yes, is it open for public use. If no, do you know who has ownership of the picture?

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